It didn't take long, after I emerged from my surgical stupor, to understand that the three W's were considered to be of primo concern to the doctors, residents, fellows, nurses, and PCT's who would float in and out of my room over the next six days, doing their magic to get me up and about.
Not that anyone referred to them as that, but it was an acronym that I enjoyed making up to fit the bill: Water, Wind, and Walk.
"Hello, have you passed gas today?" seemed to be the opening line of everyone with a uniform who walked into the room. And directed at my 'other side of the curtain' roommate as well. The second night after surgery, I seemed to have had a hallucinogenic dream, at least that's what it seemed like to me.
Of course, it's a known fact that no one gets any decent amount of sleep in a hospital. Early on, it's checking your vitals every two hours; someone taking blood at some godforsaken time in the wee hours of the morning, stealing in with a rolling cart and a hushed voice, stepping thru the curtain like an apparition and telling you softly, "Sorry to wake you, I'm just going to draw some blood."
But back to the dream. I felt like I was awake, I was aware of the night sounds, the light shining in the hall right opposite my bed, yet I was in a dream. And in the dream, a tremendous noise came from the other side of the room, a noise like...wait - passing wind?! But it was tremendous, forceful, powerfully long. How could it be? Was I awake or asleep? Then, hearing it, I found myself in deep woods, all old trees around, with rich brown swirly trunks and branches, and ahead of me, on the side of a trail was a wood sprite, a fairy, if you will. She was almost amorphous, diaphanous, whitish in color, and she was laughing, one leg up as though she was dancing in glee, and she was looking at me, but pointing sideways to...my roommate on the other side of the curtain. She was mocking...the passing of wind? Whew, that was something.