Sealed for Protection
The Chap Stick package of three tubes was sealed thoroughly; clear plastic glued against cardboard (or as they say in retail, blisterpacked) I took one out. Noticed that the white cap on the tube seemed permanently sealed. The casing read: “sealed for protection.” Gritting my chapped lips, I desperately clawed my way around the top searching for the peelable edge on the protective seal. Annoyance ensued, exasperation in the form of muttering, then, finally...success.
I mused, what could have been the circumstances leading up to these three Chap Sticks “sealed for our protection?” Were there nefarious folks, unknown to us, who were known to pillage Chap Sticks packages, moisturizing their dry lips in the cosmetics aisle, then returning them to the shelves? Perhaps they just needed a freshening up, a little extra protection from the cold? Still, it seems more likely they would just shoplift the whole darn thing, or having extracted one, tuck it in their back pocket and leave the store.
How did it become a threat to our sanitary, sterilized society? Was it a frequent occurrence? What horrible, extenuating circumstances brought the issue to the attention of Pfizer Inc.? What were the “suits” clustered around the large polished mahogany table so concerned about that they had to protect their customers? I see them. Their faces are worried, their brows furrowed. “We must seal them for our customers’ protection!” Affirmatives all around. “Send it down to Packaging and have them work on it. Tell them the package needs to be sealed for the consumer’s protection. It needs to be safe, secure."
Not long after the Chap Stick encounter I wrassled with the new bottle of my women's Multi Vitamin Gummies, bearing the same reassurance, "sealed for your protection." I had no mercy, resorting to banging it on the counter and then employing the large knife. It worked. Stay safe and get strong - we need to conquer all the packaging that is: Sealed for our Protection!